This poem was written during a recent trip to the mountains. I was preparing for one of my daughters to leave to study in another country. My life feels very full of letting go, and the processing that entails. I hope that you enjoy and that it touches some truth in you.
Watching from the window
The snow falls
the small triangle pane
is caked partly with
snow from yesterday
or the day before
I stand inside
looking out
watching my children
from the window.
It is this time
when they venture out
farther away
new adventures
on their own
and as they leave
I watch from the window
emotions war inside
pride
concern, fear, worry
confidence
yes, they can
take these steps alone
but then
do they need me
what is my role
who am I without
the caring
the nurturing
the finding items in the house
cooking food
driving them places
making the rules
being asked for permission
kissing them goodnight
singing them songs
rocking them to sleep
reading to them
endless stories
all of these memories
are there
across the frosty snow
as I watch them
from my window
wondering
how they will do
how I will do
and what will be
the new part of mothering
of marriage
of my own life
as they
walk away
drive
fly to foreign countries
or alone to cities
to wander the streets
exploring on their own
following their dreams
making their choices.
I draw forth
from deep down
the love I have for them
the faith I place in them
and in the world
they are entering
flying, driving
skiing, skipping
laughing, crying
living, loving
I watch my children
leave
from the window
through the falling snow
and I know
the world waits
I have faith
watching from the window.